How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex

By klnygaard, eHow Member


Many parents struggle with the "birds and the bees" speech to their children. Questions about where babies come from, private parts, relationships and sex are all common questions. Being prepared on how to talk to your child about sex is very important. It will decrease the parents anxiety and help the child.


Instructions


1-Most kids ask about "Where do babies come from?" or "Why do boys and girls have different (private part)?" or "What is sex?". Not only are these common questions, but important to the development of your child. It is important to remember, if you can not answer these questions, your child will seek out the answers elsewhere: Either by trying to inform themselves, by asking their friends who are the same age and my or may not have the correct answers or tv, internet, etc. A teen may also seek out information on websites, some of whch are inappropriate



2-The first is to consider your child's age and developmental level. If the child is 3-5, the information should be very basic: the child should know the correct name for body parts. The topic of babies should be simple, such as: babies come from a mommy' s tummy or mommy' s can only have babies because they have different body parts than daddy' s. The discussion of the act of sex should not be made, as it is beyond their cognitive ability.




3-A child from 6-9 can be told same information as above, but the questions usually become more complicated and the quest for more details begins. Developmentally, a child begins to either identify by tv, watching others, etc, that sex has something to do with 2 people. In addition, that babies have something to do with sex. A good approach is to validate that sex is something 2 adults do together and babies come from sex. It is ok to say that sex is a complicated topic that you can explain when the child is a little older as it is hard to explain. Most children this age will accept this answer.




4-Age 10 and older, begins the discussion of puberty. Many kids are starting to experience the physical changes of puberty. The discussions of wet dreams and periods, etc will need to be discussed. Even if your child is not experiencing these changes themselves, some of their friends may be. At this point decided what information needs to be discussed. Use of books can be helpful. They can help you describe the physical changes




5-Most important is that you feel comfortable with these conversations. Your child is going to learn about sex somewhere. Knowing the correct information is very important. In addition, knowing information that is age appropriate is also important. A 6 year old child does not need to know the details, where a 15 year old teen should know the details of the expereince and the potential outcome of actions. If you can not have the conversation, talk to your spouse about addressing sex or having the talk together. If neither you or your spouse feel comfortable you may want to ask a close friend or family member that your child trusts